A Broken Friend

Lately I’ve been struggling with being a “bad” friend.  Three of my friends are struggling deeply with life, two are far away and I’m feeling off.  My already small circle has become a little broken. My heart is heavy and I need to express my hurt to someone but right now those safe people in my life aren’t available.  And you know what? It’s totally okay, everyone deserves hurting and growing time. But my response? That’s not okay. I want to text these people and ask if they are upset with me. My brain is responding by saying “you’ve made them upset. Remember how you said _______? It ticked them off and they don’t want anything to do with you.”, and that’s a lie.
  They are experiencing life right now and it is filling their time and energies to simply just survive; they aren’t upset with me.

Satan is a deceiver. He is a liar and wants me to feel alone and wants to cause strife in the relationships in my life. I have had to literally stop myself the past few days from sending pathetic, little, selfish, whiny messages and texts. I have had to say out loud “they love you but they are struggling.  Encourage them and let it go.” I, myself, am struggling and I can’t give them the support I feel like they need and that’s okay. I’m trying. I’m praying for them and that’s the absolute best thing I could be doing anyway.

God hears my pleas of healing and peace for their hurts, their sickness, their challenges and weakness. He hears mine as well. He hears what we can’t say. He hears what our hearts are screaming. He knows. He sees us where we are and knows intimately what we’re being challenged with. He hurts with us.  Just like in this picture, He guides us, protects us, loves us, walks along beside us giving support and strength. He is our ultimate friend.

As the past few days have morphed into this crazy vortex of hurt and challenges for me, I’ve realized that I can’t look to this earthly circle for my healing or peace. I have become too reliant. Too dependent. I’ve taken my eyes off of my Father. Only in Him can I find wisdom, healing and peace from life’s hurts and challenges.

“Chin up buttercup. Look to Him.” I keep whispering to myself as the pain spills from my eyes. I think we all have seasons where God strips us down to the ugly to bring us back to His Will. To bring us from the ashes with His healing, love, grace, and mercy so we can bask in His Beauty that in turn makes us beautiful as we go through His process.

Thank you God for making life hard so I can refocus my heart and rework my thoughts to be more kingdom minded. Thank you for the process. Help me Father to keep my eyes on you and my heart in the heavenlies.  As life gets hard and brings hurts and challenges, thank You for being present in the trenches with us and for being the ultimate healer. Thank You for being the Giver of Life and for Your plan for our lives.

A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)

Even now my witness is in heaven;
    my advocate is on high.
My intercessor is my friend
    as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man he pleads with God
    as one pleads for a friend.
Job 16:19-22 (NIV)

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. Galatians 6:1-3 (Message)

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